Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby jarl » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:29 am

So I'm 17and I just found out on apr 6 that I was pregnant. Its my boyfriends (Tyler), who's also 17. We have been together for 3 years now and we really only hang out with each other. I love him more than anything and I'm having a real hard time excepting abortion. But I'm also terrified of losing tyler over a child because I know it wont be easy. His family and My family know that I'm pregnant and their are trying to support me as best as they can. Everyone seems to want me to have an abortion. They feel it will ruin my life. And I guess they have a point since my aunt had her son when she was 18. My nana had my dad when she was 17 and Tyler's grandmother had his mom when she was 16 so they all tried to tell me how hard it was and how they regretted it ever since. But it was also a different time and NONE of their parents were supportive so they had to in alone. Me and tyler don't have the maturity ot raise this child. We don't have a car or a license. But some part of me doesn't want to give up this baby. I love tyler and I'm really upset I have to make this decision at such an early age. But I did plan to do the normal thing with tyler. Go to college and then marry and settle down. But now my family feels that if I have this baby its best I get married. I feel so alone and I have really bad anxiety problems and I just cant take this. I'm so conflicted and I just hate my life and I don't want to live half the time. I just wanted everything to work out. But my mom brought me to this pregnancy center where she failed to realize that it was a complete PORLIFE place. And I saw pictures of the baby at that age. Figured out when I was due. (The same month I was born! dec ) But she made me think of what would happen if I had the abortion. I would always look at dec and remember that my baby would of been born then...Its just so hard to maker this decision now. At first when I found out I was pregnant I wanted to hear every ones opinions and now that I heard then I wish i never have. Tyler and I had tried to figure what we would do if we had the baby. First my school was understanding of my pregnancy and let me have accused tardies, and 6-8 weeks maternity leave provided with a tutor. I go to a tech school and I'm in cosmo and I will have my license in Cosmo so I cn get a job and take classes at a community college on the side. Tyler will get his license and fix up his car. His school offers a day care so he could just take it to school and drop him/her off and pick the baby up after school. And we tried to figure out living arrangement. But I'm almost 7 weeks and If I was to take the abortion pills i believe you cant go past nine weeks. But im going to have such a hard time swallowing that pill. Have it bleed out of me...knowing what it is...and my symptoms will go away...and I'll just no its gone....im like crying right now just thinking about it...please..please help me
jarl
 
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby nijel61 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:30 am

listen, it is not that big a deal, since you said you are not ready or mature enough for this you need to do what is best for you and get an abortion. my sister had hers done at 17 and she is happy that she did this. she does not regret it at all and she knows it was the smartest thing to do. just do it and get it over with and you'll be back to normal life . everyone makes mistakes and it is your body , do not let anyone make you feel guilty about not wanting to have a baby yet. you are in control of your body and if you do not want to go through with this then get the abortion. it is a simple procedure that is done right in the doctors office.
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby vidal » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:32 am

dont abort it.. because you will regret it after... theyre other options like someone adopting your child.. i would never kill my baby because i will know that my baby has my blood and the guys blood i love too. and thats something really special. so just think about it. it will be harder but it will be worth it
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby bensson » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:34 am

Only you know if you want a baby or not. In real life Tyler and both families can walk away you as a mother can't. Make your mind up and follow through.
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby trevelyan42 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:36 am

Its too bad that innocent babies get murdered because people can't take responsibility for their actions. Why don't you do adoption? That way your not killing a baby and you still don't have to keep the baby you say you are not ready for. Poor Baby:'( this stuff is evil
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby banaing44 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:37 am

DO NOT HAVE AN ABORTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you are pregnant you and the father want the baby you need to keep, you can still go to school and he can get a job it's not anyone else's decisions but yours and his if your family is pressuring you tell them to stop and let you get your head together. if you have to go apply for state housing they pay your rent, they can help you with daycare, food, insurance, and formula now usually I am against this but I'd rather have a young mom on government assistance than have an abortion....if you want your baby go apply now at your local health and human service off NOW and get on everything you can asap do not let these people force this on you, its not their life its yours and everything happens for a reason sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and have alot planned out already
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby onfroi68 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:38 am

Like they use to say when you lay down and do it you want a baby! I'm 22 so I know you don't want to hear lectures so I'm-ma keep it 100 with you and Straight to the point. Don't get a abortion. Why? well you know about the religious reasons but bc its not the baby fault so why blame the child by killing it? yeah parents saying it was hard of course its going to be hard its a baby! But is it going to ruing your life? NO! and whoever told you that is not keeping it real with you. don't allow people to tell you bc they ruined their lives that you will ruin yours you are totally diff rent from them your life plays out how YOU choose to no one Else's only thing the baby does is hopefully encourages you to keep going and do better b/c now you are doing this not only for yourself but for him/her now. I have 5 sisters all have babies all are in school one just graduated, one in the military, have their own place own car and are doing hella good and guess what the daddies ain't no good they doing this on their own! you have a family 2 at that and your bf and even if you didn't you still got it. keep your baby you will REGRET not keeping him/her
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby fiske12 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:40 am

I'm 17 and pregnant and definitely keeping my baby. I could not do abortion and I can't stand the thought of another family raising MY child. If you want to do it, you can and will. It's only a decision you can make. Although, I bet that if you keep your child you won't regret it.

My boyfriend/baby daddy was threatening to leave me if I didn't abort or put her up for adoption. I still said no and that my child is more important than any body. He is still around and we are doing better than ever :) My mom told me this and it stuck, 'Your boyfriend may be with you a short time, but your child is with your forever.' It's very true, your boyfriend could leave you right after the abortion or even 6 months after the abortion would not have been worth killing your child for someone else. Do what YOU want, not what anyone else wants. Having a child young won't ruin your life. It'll make it harder, but not totally ruin it. I'm not giving up my high school or going to college. It's made me more determined to finish so I know I can give my daughter what she needs and wants. I want to give her the world and I know I can only do that if I finish school.

Another thing, you can get help from the government. I'm getting all the help I can until I finish school and then I can do it all by myself. There's Medicaid, WIC, food stamps, and state daycare. Take all the help you can until you get where you can do it alone without government assistant.

Good luck and I wish you the best.
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby shay99 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:42 am

Hun,

The reason you don't want to give up the baby is because he was created by you and someone you love. You know that you CAN'T raise the baby. You admitted to not being mature enough. You're also depressed, I can tell because I've been there too. You cannot raise a baby in that state. Sometimes females have a baby and either become very depressed or sometimes don't care at all for the child. I know it's hard to imagine, but it has to do with the hormones.

You have three options: 1) Abortion, 2) Keeping the baby, or 3) placing him up for adoption.

Trust me, I know how hard it is, but you know you cannot raise the baby yourself. You're seventeen, and while your family and his are supportive, there are so many more things you are not taking into consideration. Financial aid, for example. You will have to drop out of school to raise the child. You will not be able to go to college right away if at all, etc.

Do not feel bad, for this is your life. If you cannot take care of the child, it would be better to not put him through it. However, adoption is still an option to consider. Though, many mothers go through the pregnancy and it is hard to put the child up for adoption after he is born.

I'd say, talk to Tyler. You and him will know the best thing to do.

Good luck.

P.S I just reread the last part of your question. It seems like you actually have it all figured out. It might not be so hard after all. However, you would need more that 8 weeks off. The baby would only be 8 weeks, would you feel secure placing that baby in a daycare at 8 weeks? And also, most parents who have children at young ages, don't stay together as they age. Just something to be weary of.
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Supportive family, loving boyfriend...why abortion? help?

Postby nuallan8 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:43 am

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles :( But I just discovered I was pregnant too in March and expect baby to be due in November:) I am 21 years old and of course older than you. I'll just tell you how I feel about my pregnancy. Although I'm older I feel were both in the same situation, you may be farther ahead of life than me. When I found out not once did killing my baby come to mind. Like you said, just the fact of bleeding and knowing your little fetus is getting drained out of you could be a horrible thing to go through. Right now I'm just praying my baby will stick with me and that I dont have a miscarriage because I couldn't imagine loosing something apart of me! I'm so excited to be pregnant because I keep thinking of that day when I'll finally get to hold baby in my arms! And just to see how cute it'll look and share something so special with the one you truly love! What I always trip about is when I'm jus laying here I rub down by my uterus where baby is and jus cant help but smile because something soo special is growing in me and it's something me and my boyfriend created together:) I just think it's so awesome.. pregnancy! But me and my boyfriend have been together for like 2 years and are soo deeply in love! Everything couldn't have been more perfect! Both of our families love that were together and I can't see myself being with anyone else. He is truly my best friend:) I love him so much. He is currently in college and I'm back at home (not in college :(). We are like 16 hours apart and it totally sucks. I have no idea where I want to go to college and where I'm going to be located at in the future ( It was like this before I even got pregnant). I went to college and messed that up and haven't tried to go back because I have some serious debt to take car of! I barely have enough money to do things myself and have no vehicle.. and am pretty much living off mymom. My boyfriend is a junior in college and is really motivated to get it done! Ifeel so bad because I feel like I'm just lazy and a loser pretty much! I should be right there beside him because went both started college the same time. Even though my life is like this, when I found out I was pregnant I knew this baby would change my life & in a good way!! I've never been so motivated to do things. My boyfriend is so happy ans both our families support us fully! I know things will work out.. I know. As long as me and my boyfriend have eachother, we have nothing to worry about! I know no matter what we will make sure our baby is well taken care of! I guess my point in all is this is my life is **** too and I feel depressed because i thought I'd be doing something with my life right now... and I haven't done nothing but get myself buried inbills. Even through all of the stuff thats happened.... Not once did I think about killing my precious little baby. There was just no way. I'm going to make it work and find a way to make it in this world! I'm happy right now ... very happy and i dont know why! I just cant help but blame my little baby for giving me that happiness! :) I know you'll do the right thing. Espescially if you got your loving boyfriend right beside you through it all ;)
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